What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
