just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Im part way to drunk.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
