Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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