it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
