His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
