There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
And then he peed in my hair
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