He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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