I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
