you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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