I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
