Heybabeimwearingurpanties
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
