mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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