Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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