Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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