So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
