I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
