Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
