its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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