Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
