Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
