We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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