ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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