New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
