So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
