so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
