Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it's great music for shaving your balls
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
