well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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