i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
These tits shall not be calmed
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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