Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
