im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
