bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
