you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
