Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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