i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
