I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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