Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
