kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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