Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
