votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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