I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
