do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
