The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
