I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
