I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
