The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
