I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
