Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
