I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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