You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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