Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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