And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize