Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
